Newmarket Films, 2008. Written by J.S. Cardone. Music by Paul Haslinger. Directed by Nelson McCormick. Starring Brittany Snow, Scott Porter, Jessica Stroup, Dana Davis, Collins Pennie and Johnathon Schaech as "Richard Fenton."

    By Stephen Pytak 

     In a lot of ways, this redux of the 1980 classic, a remake in 
name only, kinda reminded me of the remake of "When a Stranger 
Calls (2006)." 
     It's about a maniac who looks like an average Joe who stalks a 
bunch of fresh faces. But while I gave "When a Stranger Calls" 
three stars out of five, the new "Prom Night" scored only one.
     It's not because of the actors. I thought Brittany Snow and 
company did the best they could, considering what they had to 
work with. While the direction is slick, the script is cliche-ridden 
garbage, what the reviewers at Spill.com would call "some ol' 
bullshit." And they'd be right.
     The story is nothing like the "Prom Night" Jamie Lee Curtis 
danced in 28 years ago. In that film, we didn't find out the killer's 
identity until the last minute. In the remake, we meet him in the first 
five.
     The film starts out almost exactly like "I Know What You Did 
Last Summer (1997)." We get a fast-moving pan shot across the 
water while listening to a cover of a classic. In "I Know" it was 
Type O Negative's "Summer Breeze." Here it's Ben Taylor's 
"Time of the Season."
     A cute blonde high school freshman, "Donna (Snow)," is 
coming home from the movies with friends. She gets dropped off 
at her house in the suburbs. She walks in and finds her father 
and brother dead. She hears screaming, hides under her bed, 
then watches as her mother gets cut up by one of her high 
school teachers.
     Turns out this teacher, "Richard Fenton (Schaech)," is 
obsessed with poor Donna and is hoping to get her to "run away" 
with him. And do what with her? I dunno. Use your imagination.
     When we're introduced to this guy, he's bearded and looks a 
lot like the dude who played "Nottingham" in the TNT  
"Witchblade" series, Eric Etebari. I checked Schaech's bio on IMDB, 
didn't see anything else he was in.  But he's credited as a 
screenwriter on Stephen King's, "From a Buick 8," due out in 2009. 
Interesting.
     Anyway, the cops capture this Fenton guy. Donna goes to live 
with her aunt and uncle. And she sees a shrink and pops Klonapin, 
which is used to treat panic attacks, according to Drugs.com.
     We jump ahead to her senior year. Donna's still having bad 
dreams. In an effort to move on with her life, she stops taking her
pills the week she's getting ready for prom.
     Meanwhile, Fenton breaks out of the nut house, shaves his beard, 
dons a ball cap and looks like a blood-thirsty Billy Bob Thornton. 
     Donna thinks she sees him out and about while she's getting her 
hair done. The scene reminded me of the dress shop, now-you-see-him, 
now-you-don't scene in "Halloween: Resurrection (2002)."
     Anyway, guess where he's going. That's right! The ritzy hotel 
where Donna and her senior class from Bridgeport High are staging 
their prom. He finds out Donna and her pals have a room up on the 
third floor. For some reason, the desk guy asks him what floor he'd 
prefer. Jesus, I never had a hotel clerk ask me that. Of course, Fenton 
goes to the third. And as soon as he gets up there, he knifes a maid to 
steal her pass key. I guess that makes sense, in a crazy, methodical 
sort of way.
     But a lot of what he does in the next hour doesn't.
     Instead of grabbing Donna at first opportunity -- when she's 
standing waiting for an elevator with no one around -- this guy for 
no reason decides to first kill a few of her friends, almost everyone 
who steps into the hotel room Donna and her friends booked.
     There are a lot of off-screen stabbings and very little blood. 
Then again, this is a PG-13 flick.
     The dumbest stalking scene involved "Lisa (Davis)." Convinced 
she recognized Fenton in the hotel lobby, she rushes to tell Donna. 
While running down the stairs from the third floor, she breaks a heel. 
Then, she sees Fenton coming for her. Instead of continuing down 
two more flights, she bangs into a floor-- probably the second -- which 
is under construction. I mean, God, what the odds the second floor 
is under construction. 
    What made no sense in this scene either is the moment when the 
elevator doors open and Lisa's boyfriend (Pennie) sticks his head out 
and calls for her. When she left him a moment ago, she said she was 
going back to the ground floor. Why on earth would he even think 
she'd go wandering around a floor under construction in a prom 
gown? 
     At some point, the cops are notified about Fenton's escape. They 
hustle to the prom, stake the place out and find a body in a truck in 
the parking lot. Using fire alarms, they clear the building in an effort
to get the students to safety. Instead of playing "smart" and following 
everyone out, Donna says she forgot her late mother's shawl on the 
third floor and goes back in.
    There are a lot of ridiculous attempts at jump scares in this flick. 
One of the worst happens when Donna gets frightened when she 
bumps into a lamp shade. 
     While up on three, she meets the killer, screams, slams doors in 
his face, while he crashes through one using a fire extinguisher. Not 
the worst scene. Not the best.
    Anyway, she gets away, runs into the cops and is presumably 
taken to safety, when one of the dumbest things I've EVER seen in a 
horror movie happens.
    The lead detective "Nash (James Ransone)," recalls bumping into 
Fenton in the lobby -- ABOUT AN HOUR AFTERWARDS!!!
    Act III winds up back at the girl's aunt and uncle's house. The 
killer finds his prey. The detective shoots him four times. A lousy 
upbeat pop sound fills the soundtrack and we see a few shots from the 
prom. Credits.
     I'm sure teenagers will love it. I read one review on line from a 
blogger named "Sam (a girl)," who said "I actually really liked that 
movie. And the soundtrack was great!" That's cool, I guess.
    While I thought Taylor's cover was good, I can't say the rest of the 
soundtrack did all that much for me. Hard-core horror buffs like me 
won't get a lot out of the new "Prom Night." We've seen it all, 
including dozens and dozens of flicks about maniacs who escape 
from aslyums. Heck, that's a subgenre of this subgenre. But in a 
decade or so, some of us with a sense of humor will probably revist
these recent horror remakes for a couple of laughs.
     Again, I kind of feel bad for some of the young talent. I'm sure if 
these kids were given a better script, they could have done something 
special with it.
     I'm not sure if they're old enough to remember decent stalk and 
slash films like "Black Christmas (1974)," "John Carpenter's 'Halloween
 (1978),'" or even ones that were just pretty good, like Paul Lynch's 
"Prom Night (1980)." But I wish them the best and hope if they do 
another horror movie, it's got a lot more going for it.