By Stephen Pytak 
   
     I don't remember the last time I analyzed the 
quality of a film with such scruntiy.
     Then again, this is a remake of "The Texas 
Chainsaw Massacre (1974)," one of the greatest 
horror movies ever made.
     When I first saw the remake opening weekend, I
was impressed. The shots of the new "Leatherface,"
the "Kemper" mask, and the chase through the 
slaughterhouse won me over. I gave it a gold.
     Then I saw it again a week later and realized the
motivations and the relationships of this new 
"Chainsaw" clan, weren't fleshed out. Disappointed 
by the lack of explanation, I dropped the rating to 
a full-clip silver. That's still four stars, by the way.
     Then I saw the flick a third time a few days later 
and found explanation not in what the characters 
said so much, but in what they did, and the tools they
used. 
     "Leatherface" has not only meat hooks, but the kind
of tan roll paper butchers use in his lair. 
     The family's grandmother was the lady working in 
that roadside gas station/grocery store, the one the 
kids stopped in to call the sheriff.
     Without showing the BBQ cooking on the grill, the
filmmakers are telling us what's going on here.
     Suggestion is sometimes the best way to tell a story, 
especially if we've heard this one before.
     So, I've decided to give the film back its gold medal.
     Remaking "TCM" sounded like an impossible 
project to me.
     I remember asking actor Edwin Neal, who played
the original "Hitchiker," what he thought it was 
possible for a remake to do justice.
     He said you could never remake "Chainsaw."
     In some ways, he was right.
     No one will ever recapture the intensity and shock
value of the original.
     However, that wasn't Director Marcus Nispel's
intention.     
     "There was only one reason to do a remake --
go against the unexpected," Nispel says in the linear
notes to the film's CD soundtrack, which is available 
from La-La Land Records, Inc.
     The film is still "an account of the tragedy which
befell a group of five youths..."
     But the account, the youths and the suspects are
slightly different in the remake.
     This time, for instance, the film's invalid is one
of the suspects, not one of the victims.
     Serious horror film fans will relish in a few scenes,
in particular I think the chase in the cattle slaughter-
house will go down in history.
     It's a sacred place in "TCM" history, because the
killers in the original film talked about it. It was
more than a local industry to them. It was like a 
sacred place, where their grandfather was once a cow
killing champion.
     Watching "Leatherface" tear after Jessica Biel 
through the kitchens, freezer and the locker rooms 
here is simply incredible. It's my favorite scene.
    The remake also gives us some insight into the 
police investigation. We even get to see some
black and white police footage which has some
"Blair Witch" shock value to it.
     The new "Chainsaw" also contains gore. It's
not as effective as the stuff Tom Savini provided in 
"Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986)." But it serves.   
     We've got severed limbs, beatings and a meat-hook
hanging which continues through a painful time frame.
Some scenes looked like they were trimmed for the R-
rating. I hope there's more to them and I'd like to see
an unrated version on DVD.
     The film will also be remembered for Biel.
     She bounces around a lot and her T-shirt gets wet
once or twice. The invalid even gets a chance to 
give her a squeeze during one uncomfortable moment.
I don't remember the last time we had a heroine in 
one of these films that was this sexy.
     They should have made posters with her on them 
and sold them at either Spencers or Wal-Mart.

Copyright 2003 by Stephen Pytak